Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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