i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
