Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize