Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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