The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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