Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize