remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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