someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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