I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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