Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
