I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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