I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
