As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
