I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
