I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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