I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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