I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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