Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
