if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
