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never play flip cup with pint glasses
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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