just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Girls should come with a carfax report
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
