Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
