i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
