I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
