Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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