The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
