I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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