It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize