yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
