Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we should paint friendship bongs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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