Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
