i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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