at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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