1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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