I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
