DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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