Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she pinky promised me she was 18
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
