We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
