The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
