addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In other news, I just burned my penis
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
