I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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