hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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