We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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