would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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