Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
