she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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