clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
