i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Blood and glitter go together right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
