I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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