Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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