Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
