Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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