sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
