My friends, they love my intelligence
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
