Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
